I know that I’m falling a little behind on sharing this, but honestly, I just haven’t known what to say about all of it. Living through this uncertain time makes me all of the emotions at once. We are uncharted territory with all of this and I think we are allowed to feel ALL the emotions. I think it’s OK for us to not be sure about any of it. Right? It’s something none of us have ever experienced before, nor will we again. So here we are in a new normal, at least for the time being.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
The uncertainty of it all is really making me question lots and lots of things! Covid related and non-covid related.
My new normal means that I’ve taken on two new full-time jobs. Childcare Director & Headmaster. I wonder if I can add those to the resume when all this is over?! I’m not sure if I’m good at either because my first full time job has decided to continue to push through with a new software roll out which makes absolutely no sense at this time due to what’s going on around us, but I’m not in charge.
The Mister is still working out there “on the front lines…” Well, all over the front lines actually, just to delivery packages to you all and running terrified. Everyday I think he’s just trying to get back home and unfortunately people are ordering some crazy dumb shit during this time making his days extra long. Today he literally delivered 20 packages to one house. 20 packages? Really?! All those are essential needs? Doubt it. Just remember those people who delivered you that new chair or new light risked their life to get it to you. Literally. There are lots of front line people who seem to kind of fall to the wayside, but I’m glad some people not normally praised are getting recognition.
A NEW NORMAL
I’ve tried to sit down and write more than a few times and I just can’t seem to come up with much. I have been trying to journal everyday, but with all of us in the same boat, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about my daily happenings. There are, though, so many things to talk about. I feel like every day I participate in extra hugs, tears, terror, sadness and distraction. The distraction is for the kids, but maybe a little for me too. If not, I’d watch the damn news all day, every day. But also to keep them from seeing me run through all the emotions on any given day.
In an attempt to keep our new normal fun and relaxed around here, we have had many a dance party with It’s Raining Taco’s on repeat thanks to Olive and her new found Alexa skills. If you haven’t learned about that song, don’t let your kids find it! We have been reading a story together which has been fun and no, it’s not one of the other 4 we had started prior to quarantine, it’s a new one because that would have made sense to finish the other 4 first.
BOREDOM BUSTERS
We have been eating dinner at the table like 75% more than normal. Unless it’s been taken over by Mike and his “stuff.” If that’s the case, we usually have at least 3 days, if not a whole week before it all gets cleared or put back where it belongs. But he’s been working 12 hour days so we don’t get to eat dinner with him anyways. But Sunday we had a family dinner with a facebook concert by a country music friend!
I figured we’d be watching a ton of Frozen 2 and a few other faves, but the girls have been more into things like Sam & Cat, Chip & Potato, and of course the ultimately annoying Fortnite. I remember playing Nintendo as a kid, but never like this. Now, it’s like a whole getup – head gear and all! Speaking of Nintendo, I get in trouble when putting our Stephen’s Nintendo* on top of the Xbox Live (when cleaning and picking up) because it apparently messes with some signal…
COVID QUARANTINE
Every day I’m exhausted. I’m not sure if it’s depression setting in, actual mental exhaustion because of the daily mental load of working three full time jobs in one while trying to keep everyone alive, or literal exhaustion because I’m having trouble getting to sleep. It’s a toss up. The kids haven’t been horrible with listening and getting along, but we do have many days where we are having a roller coaster of emotions happening up in here and that does make the exhaustion come on a bit heavier midday. Usually I’m ready for the day to be over about 4pm.
SO MANY EMOTIONS
There are so many things I’ve noticed too…
About others…
Like how many people really feel like their opinion is necessary and needed for the world to get through this pandemic.
Or how some people are extra super needy and MUST have social interaction and MUST tell everyone about that NEED.
And then there’s those who make us all feel like failures who are posting all the amazing things they are doing with their kids at home because they aren’t doing anything new except having to stay home.
Like I said, so many emotions…
*There’s actually a lot more that is going through my head, but I don’t want y’all to hate me*
SILVER LININGS
With all that being said, we are staying at home, following orders, and enjoying the time we have together. We are enjoying these moments we wouldn’t normally have together. Olive is loving staying home, not only with me, but with her sister. I love watching her play and normally I wouldn’t be able to be a part of that. Her stories are the best and the way she dramatizes them is just hysterical. Ella may not be loving all of it, but she’s taking it in stride and does fully enjoy the sleeping in. We run on about a 2 hour delay most days which works for everyone in our current situation! She’s able to create when she wants, play when she wants, stay up a little late and sleep in a lot more, and she’s actually starting to do some chores around the house somewhat willingly. #smallwins
Basically this was just a vent for me. Thanks for reading and listening! Let’s keep staying home my friends!
I haven’t been out to do anything since about March 13th so it’s been a while and it looks like we aren’t going to be out and about anytime soon. The kids are home from school {as of right now} for another month so we are in this for the long haul. The mister is our small window out into the world to hear what it’s like “on the outside.”